Dinner Theater, Another Year, Another Story

The night began typically enough.  Whining about the dinner choices.  Desperate pleas for nuggets or at the very least, french fries.  Daddy's nightly lecture on appreciating all that Mommy does for you. Blah-blah. Blah-blah.

Then there was an instant.  A bizarre twist. A rip in the space-time continuum.  Something. Something weird.  Something not quite right.  Before we knew it.  We had once again stumbled into the twilight zone.  Children were eating. Broccolli, carrots, lettuce. Parents were talking. To each other!  There was no whining, no crying, no complaining. Everyone was enjoying themselves.  This was great!

I began to get scared, to panic.  Wait. This wasn't right.  This wasn't the way things should be.  This wasn't NORMAL. I didn't know if I could take it.  Then. It was at this precise moment when Chloe bursts into song.  Out of nowhere we hear, "I'm a nut, I'm a nut, I'm a chocolate nut!" clicking her tongue and knocking on her head.  This of course sent us all into hysterics, which made her go all the louder, longer, and stronger.

This was weird.  Then, talk of bunnies eating carrots.  Talk of being bunnies because we were eating carrots. (By "we", I don't mean me.  I don't like carrots.  And I'm glad I didn't like carrots. Because I don't really like bunnies.  So I don't want to be one.  At least not white ones with those freaky red eyes.  Maybe Bunnicula scarred me.) Chewing, Laughing, Talking, Happy.  Phone rings, I leave.  It's my mom. Eli steals my chair.  (He had long ago abandoned his own)I talk a bit, then come back and see Eli, shirt pulled up with one hand, carrot in the other hand, looking down, perplxed.  The carrot hand was squirming, tugging, pushing, trying desperately to get under the onesie he was wearing as an undershirt.  "What in the world is he doing?" I ask while laughing.  Daddy says, "He wasn't swallowing the carrot in his mouth, so I told him to put the carrot in his belly. He's been trying ever since." Hysterical laughter, spitting out of chewed up carrot, cookie dessert, and end scene.  Resume chaos.